When I was 16 years old, I was very close to my cousin. She had been with her boyfriend since her freshman year and was entering her senior year of high school. Her father had allowed her boyfriend to live with her and they got pregnant. I struggled with the whole thing because I had just started my walk with Christ. It was hard for me to know that she was pregnant and even harder to know she was considering an abortion. At the time, I thought it was her choice. I found out differently later, then, I was mortified to know that she was considering ending the life of her child. And even more upset when she actually went through with it.
Because of her pregnancy, abortion became an open subject in my family. I found out that my aunt had also had an abortion and worse yet, I found out that my mom had had one when she was 19. This was the hardest blow of all. I had longed for a sibling since I was a child and to know that the only one I have is in heaven is rough. I also found out from my grandmother that my mom had been advised to abort me as well. I am obviously thrilled that she didn’t, but it’s a struggle knowing that I was the one given life instead of my sibling.
My mom is very casual about her abortion and doesn’t seem to know what an impact it had on me. I still struggle with the knowledge of it. I look forward to meeting my sibling, my cousin, and my cousins child when I get to heaven, but it’s difficult knowing that my mom, my aunt, and my cousin chose to end life instead of give life.
My reason for sharing is that I want you to know that an abortion doesn’t just impact you and the baby’s father. It impacts everyone down the line. You are ending the life of your future children’s siblings. The life of a cousin. The life of a niece or nephew. Your decision to end life impacts many people around you. It will hurt your children and other family members from that point on.
I still fight with being mad about my family member’s choices. I recently talked with my cousin. It’s now been 11 years since her abortion. I found out that it was her father who told her to have the abortion and she felt she had to respect his decision and do what he’d told her to do since she was living under his roof. She thinks about the abortion every day and prays she didn’t ruin her body and that one day, she’ll be able to carry another child. I used to respect my uncle, but now he has also lost my respect. Even more though, I’m sad that my cousin didn’t feel like she could reach out to me or someone else to offer her support. We also talked recently about how normally, she can get through the pain when she hears people talk about it, but recently, she was watching a show where they performed an abortion and she just lost it. It breaks my heart to know that she will always live with that pain.